Success

Current mood: accomplished

Success happened in a surprise way last night at drumming! I had practiced for about 45 minutes getting a solo together... I mean I really worked on this thing... even had words to go with the beats and everything. I practiced with the metronome that Natalie loaned me and felt a little nervous but sort of confident. I had been saying positive mantras to myself all day and went off to drumming. The drumming session was difficult because we were trying rhythms in new ways and fast speeds that we had not utilized before. It was great but took tons of concentration... not a meditation session that's for sure! When it came time for the solo parts I felt like I could do this...and wanted to go first but the circle went the other direction and I was in the end part... talk about upping the pressure! It came to me... I confidently did my solo call got into the solo section and went ... what????? Did my calming wait four beats... started saying my words and ..... and..... and.... my hands did something totally different! I ended up drumming a solo that I had never heard before... go figure.. my brain was doing one thing and my hands were drumming on their own. It sounded Ok because people were complimentary and then I had to do another solo part and it was longer and even better than the first one. I sort of feel like I cracked through a mental barrier. I was able to let go, trust my body rhythm, and go with the flow and perform a decent solo. If I can do it once, I can do it again ... and it will only get better from here!

Inner Dialogue

Do You ever notice how your inner dialogue gets in your way sometimes? Without even thinking or even being aware of it we tend to listen to this tape of programmed thoughts that we carry with us! Today is Tuesday so tonight is my advanced drumming night. I love this group! This group is more supportive than my grandmother's corset! This group wants nothing but the best for me. So what's the big deal you say???? Well, at the end of the session we all do a piece where everyone is sort of expected to signal for a solo. I have no idea why this is so hard. I mean ... I can signal on beat... I can get in and out of the circle rhythm perfectly but when it comes time for me to do the actual solo I freak! It all comes down to my inner dialogue. I have to believe in myself that I can do this with a flourish. I've decided that tonight is the night that I will succeed with a short solo. Go Me!

Back to Posting too!

Current mood: productive

Today I am finally mentally ready to rededicate myself to organizing and exercising again! It's incredible to me how much of life is really a mental game with yourself. It is so easy to find reasons not to do something that you really don't want to do. I have stopped the excuses and just tell myself it's ok not to do whatever I want to avoid and know that I will rededicate myself to that goal when I'm ready. At least I'm owning my decisions instead of "excusing". Well today is the day I have set to restart exercising... I started reorganizing yesterday. Once I get past the first week .. then it's so much easier because then I don't even debate with myself... I just do my routine! Well, I'm off to find uplifting rocking tunes to get me moving!!!!!!!